In the Slowest of Motion
by Madness
Summary: Sanji gets bored -- very bored. Shounen-ai: Sanji/Zoro


In the Slowest of Motion   
By: Madness  
  
~~~  
A/N: **Shounen-ai**. My FIRST shounen-ai, to be exact. Sanji x Zoro. Also a one shot fic. Don't hurt me. *cowers* I'm just a poor crazy girl.  
  
The words in _italic _are Zoro's thoughts, so not to confuse you nice people who are actually reading my story. =D Much praise to you!! *grovels*  
  
AND AND AND....the only Japanese words I use in this fic are "baka" (or baka yaro) and "kisama", but only because I'm so used to hearing it being said in One Piece. ^^;; They're just naughty words. [naughty naughty!] =D Also, of course, "-san" and "-kun". So...yeah. That's it. Oh, and lotsa curses, but in regular english.  
  
**Warnings: Children be gone! Sanji x Zoro one-shot fic. Self-explanatory, but no explicit "stuff". =P**  
~~~  
  
_He's just a stupid chef.  
  
_"Zoro!"  
  
_Just shut up...and let me sleep, damn you..._  
  
"ZORO!!!!! BAKA YARO!"  
  
Zoro opened his eyes slightly to see an angry Sanji standing above him, in position to give him a swift kick. "...so noisy..."  
  
"After 20 minutes?! 20 MINUTES I've been yelling at you, you stupid swordsman!" Sanji kicked him in the ribs, which, to say the least, was quite painful. "It's a damn hassle to wake you up!"  
  
Zoro glared at him. "Just let me sleep then," he snapped at the chef, "if it bothers you so damn much!!"  
  
"It's not like it was my decision," Sanji reached into his pocket to search for his cigarette case and match, "had it *been* my decision, I wouldn't even bother coming near you. Nami persuaded me to." He lit up a cigarette ever so casually, and for some strange reason, this seemed to bother Zoro somewhat. His eye twitched.  
  
"So then what is it?"  
  
"If you don't want to eat today, you can go back to sleep. Luffy probably already ate your share, anyway..." Sanji puffed on his cigarette in a calm fashion. In short, it was evident that he couldn't care less for the swordsman.  
  
"Leave me alone, bastard." Zoro muttered, closing his eyes again and leaning back into a comfortable position on the ground. "I'll eat later."  
  
Sanji laughed. "Don't think it'll still be there once Luffy finishes his meal..." he stopped upon realizing that Zoro had fallen asleep again. Sanji gritted his teeth.  
  
"You...stupid...asshole!!" Sanji kicked him again, harder than before. Zoro growled, but stayed quiet. "Get the hell up! I'm not cooking for you later on, so you better not complain that you don't get any food around here!"  
  
Zoro opened one eye. "So I won't eat later."  
  
"You'd better not ask!"  
  
"I won't ask you, dammit! Just shut the hell up!" He closed his eyes to go to sleep, scowling. _Stupid chef, just fuckin leave me alone already..!!_  
  
But Zoro didn't hear him walk away. In fact, he could still smell the scent of the smoke from Sanji's newly lit cigarette lingering in the air. After a few more minutes of waiting, he expected Sanji to give up and leave. But he hadn't walked away, not even a few feet.   
  
_God, I'm going to kill that bastard...._  
  
"What's wrong, Zoro...? Am I bothering you by just standing here?"  
  
Zoro could almost hear Sanji smirking...needless to say, it was very irritating... "Don't be an idiot."  
  
"Oh?" Soon Zoro felt Sanji's presence beside him. "Then me sitting here won't bother you either." Zoro's eyes opened and glared at him.  
  
"You're too close," Zoro moved away from him feeling a bit uncomfortable. Sanji smirked.  
  
"Baka," Sanji said simply, and then paused, almost hesitating to continue. "....well...I've been wondering what the hell the reason is for you sleeping so much.."  
  
"Asshole. What is that supposed to mean?" Zoro grumbled, not wanting to hear whatever the hell Sanji wanted to talk about. It was most likely nothing important, just something to drive Zoro crazy and eventually force him to get up.  
  
"A man has his needs." Sanji puffed on his cigarette softly. "So you gotta have them, too."  
  
"Don't be stupid."  
  
"Oh, don't try to deny it. It'll only make it worse, you know."  
  
"I haven't said ANYTHING." Zoro retorted, crossing his arms in aggravation. "I don't even know what the hell you're babbling about...you stupid bastard."  
  
"Ever thought about Nami in a way other than just friendly..?"  
  
"What? Why the hell are you asking me this!?"  
  
"Just bored out of my mind." Sanji sighed and brushed back his hair swiftly. "So. Have you?"  
  
Zoro thought about it for a second, but perished the thought. It was NAMI. He couldn't think of her as anything more than a friend, or even just a sister. "No, I haven't," he replied honestly, "but I know *you* have, haven't you? You can tell by the way you keep..."  
  
"Ah, sweet Nami..." Sanji breathed wistfully, "A goddess. A celestial personage."  
  
It was Zoro's turn to smirk. "Yep. The way you keep doing *that*. Annoying is what it is."  
  
Sanji stared at Zoro for a moment with great interest. "Why? What's so annoying about it?"  
  
_Baka yaro...I get annoyed with **everything **you do..._  
  
"Well, Zoro?" Sanji leaned in slightly, trying to get an answer out of him, "Well? What is it?"  
  
_I will kill you if you keep asking me. What the hell is wrong with you?? Why are you asking me this??_ "Everything you do...it pisses me off."  
  
Sanji shrugged. "Do I really intimidate you that much? I see now..."  
  
"INTIMIDATE!?" Zoro grabbed the collar of Sanji's jacket and put his face to his. "I'll kill you, you bastard!"  
  
What Sanji said next took Zoro by surprise. He had expected a threat to be hurled at him in return, or an insult, or *anything* that Zoro would deem as offensive, but....he said, "Would you want to?"  
  
The swordsman paused, still clenching the other man's jacket roughly. "....what?"  
  
"Would you..."  
  
"I heard what you said!" Zoro snapped, but it didn't phase Sanji for some strange reason. Usually Sanji was very short-tempered when it came to arguing with Zoro, or any other guy for that matter. The only time Sanji was actually patient was when he was dealing with women. _Baka yaro..._  
  
"Well, it's a simple question, really." Sanji calmly placed his hand over Zoro's clenched fist -- the fist that was clutching his jacket -- and gripped it tightly. "Now....let go of my jacket...or I'LL KILL YOU, YOU STUPID FOOL!!" He shoved Zoro against the railing of the ship, then proceeding to smooth the wrinkles on his jacket that came out of the ordeal.  
  
_Nothing's changed. He's the same bastard._ Zoro scowled at him. Sanji only smirked at him return.  
  
"You didn't answer my question, Zoro."  
  
Silence. An uncomfortable one.  
  
"You mean...why won't I kill you?"  
  
"Yes." Sanji was serious now.  
  
"Hm," Zoro thought about it for a bit. _Why won't I? Because the others wouldn't let me. They would blame me for killing their food supplier, and most likely force me to find another cook that is even half as good as Sanji._ "I want to." he said simply.  
  
"Badly?"  
  
_What the hell?! _"What do you think??"  
  
"Just out of boredom. And curiosity." Sanji lit another cigarette, indicating that he intended to hang around for a bit longer. Again, another way of irritating the hell out of Zoro.  
  
"Obviously I do want to hurt you! You damn chef." Zoro snapped.  
  
"Hurt me?!"  
  
"Don't think I won't!" Zoro threatened, placing a hand on his sword and unsheathing it a little. The two stared at each other for a moment, their eyes exchanging looks that would send even the strongest of men to run away crying.  
  
And eventually, Sanji sighed in an exasperated tone. "I'm not in the mood to fight with you now, Zoro. I'm bored. I've been bored for a long time now."  
  
_He's acting so fuckin strangely..._  
  
The chef brushed his hair back casually as he made his way over to Zoro until he stood directly above him. "So...you said that you have never thought about Nami in a way other than as a friend?"  
  
Zoro shifted, uncomfortable. What the hell was the big deal, or the point, even? _This bastard must be drunk, and that cigarette isn't helping him a bit._ "I said I haven't. I ALSO said that *you're* the one who is obsessing over her."  
  
"I obsess over lots of women. And Nami is particularly a special one..." Sanji said calmly, tossing his cigarette away. ",,,but I'm very bored right now..."  
  
"You keep saying that," Zoro muttered, his patience wearing thin, "Is there a reason for you to be bothering me with your stupid boredom?"  
  
"Of course there is," Sanji flashed him a quick smile of what seemed to be mischievous, and to Zoro's surprise, Sanji crouched in front of him, pressing his hands against Zoro's shoulders to pin him against the railing. Shock and confusion clouded Zoro's mind; _what the hell Is Sanji thinking? What's this about BOREDOM?_  
  
"What the hell are you doing...?" Zoro hissed at him. He hated it when people were uncomfortably close to him without his consent...not that he'd ever allow ANYONE to be this close to him. And to even hold him up against the railing!? Whoever did so was obviously asking for a slow and painful death.  
  
"There are only five people on this ship...Luffy, Nami, Usopp, you, and me. I haven't been too successful with Nami...Luffy's too oblivious...and Usopp wouldn't be much fun..." he leaned in to put his face to Zoro's, maybe a bit _too _close for Zoro's liking.  
  
"Bastard." Zoro said simply, putting his own hands on Sanji's shoulders in preparation to push him away. "You're not making any sense. What the hell is your problem?"  
  
"A man has his needs. Zoro."  
  
Zoro felt his heart beat rapidly, the preposterousness of it all was simply maddening. This isn't like him...  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Get your hands off of me..."  
  
"You first." Sanji smirked at him. But not that usual one he always shot at Zoro during an argument...a different type. One that Zoro had never seen before. He shuddered unconsciously and, without noticing it, removed his hands from Sanji's shoulders.  
  
Sanji's eyes narrowed. "No."  
  
Zoro blinked. "Baka yaro, you just said...!"  
  
"I meant..." he paused, "...for you not to."  
  
_What?_  
  
"I meant for you _not _to take your hands off me."  
  
Zoro glared at the chef intensely, trying to figure him out, trying to see what type of joke he was playing. I'll kill him for this, so help me....  
  
"Well?"  
  
Zoro kept staring at him, and Sanji could only stare back. Their eyes were both serious and heavy, equally matched, and ready for any sudden movements. Until Zoro broke the silence. "You really are an idiot, aren't you? What the hell are you saying...that you *want* me to hurt you?"  
  
"I never said that."  
  
"Of course not! You keep fuckin talking about 'boredom', as if that makes any MORE sense! Tell me what the hell you -"  
  
Sanji grabbed the back of Zoro's head with one hand, pulling him into his lips anxiously, though he began to kiss Zoro softly and slowly; Zoro froze under Sanji's touch, not so much angry as he was shocked. Everything seemed so blurry, as if it were all a dream. Or a nightmare?  
  
No, it *was* dreamlike; Zoro didn't want to admit it, or maybe he just didn't know it himself, but...the kiss felt really good...  
  
Yet he still refused to move. It was awkward; he had never even thought about Sanji in that way, as he was always in an arguing state with him. Rivalry...and pettiness....it didn't occur to him that maybe that was what attracted Sanji to him in the first place. Sanji had always shown a liking towards Nami...and basically every pretty girl that came his way. Never would Zoro imagine that Sanji, of all people...  
  
His thoughts were cut off as Sanji pulled away from the kiss almost hesitantly, and began to whisper in his ear. "...Zoro..."  
  
Zoro's pulse quickened, his breathing becoming heavy as Sanji pressed himself closer to his body, his hands ever-so gently running up and down Zoro's back. "...N--nani...?"  
  
"Just how good are you..." Sanji breathed into his ear, "...with your sword...?"  
  
Zoro couldn't answer him. He was at a complete loss for words. _My...sword...?_  
  
"Well...I'm sure you're _very _good with it..."  
  
"Bastard!" Zoro finally spat, grabbing Sanji's throat with one hand. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?"  
  
"I'm not doing anything..." the blonde-haired chef said camly, placing his own hand on Zoro's, on his neck. He paused for a moment and a moment alone...the uncomfortable silence and closeness of the two pirates causing Zoro to shiver. "...yet."  
  
With that last word, Sanji was able to unclench Zoro's grip around his neck.  
  
And it was so hard for Zoro to move under this kind of confusion. Even Sanji noticed it.  
  
"So. You're finally intimidated by me." Zoro heard him laugh, and soon he felt the chef push himself away and getting to his feet. "You're such an idiot...damn swordsman..."  
  
A voice came from the opposite side of the ship. Nami's voice. "Oh Sanji-kun~!? What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing, Nami-saaaan!" Sanji called, his switch from being suave and smooth to...well....whatever he was in Nami's presence. "I'll be coming!"  
  
Zoro stayed sitting up against the rail, watching Sanji as he began to make his way back to dinner. _That damn bastard...what the hell was that all about!?!!  
  
_"Baka yaro!" Zoro yelled at Sanji's retreating form. "What kind of sick game were you fuckin playing!??"  
  
Sanji stopped.  
  
Turned.  
  
And he smirked nonchalantly.  
  
"...I wasn't playing."  
  
Zoro's eyes widened in disbelief, but he quickly changed his confused expression into that of his usual scowl. "Somehow...I knew you weren't."  
  
Sanji nodded at him once, and then he left.  
  
It hit Zoro then...he never answered one of Sanji's questions...  
  
"Just how good are you...with your sword....?"  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned back against the rail of the ship, thinking about that; preparing himself should Sanji ever ask him that question again.  
  
"Hell yeah, I'm good with a sword. _Very _good, in fact..." He smirked to himself as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
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A/N: It's not as good as the many cool shounen-ai fics I've read for One Piece, but heck...it's my first...so, ah well. Please review!!!! =D


End file.
